I have a confession to make...
I'm a personal trainer and health coach, but I wasn't always healthy.
In my 20's, I was a compulsive yo-yo dieter. I was obsessed with reaching an arbitrary number on the scale.
This is me on vacation, after I'd starved myself for weeks. I didn't want to be embarrassed on the beach or ashamed to wear a bikini. <gulp>
I cringe thinking of all the unhealthy restrictive behaviors I engaged in, just because I felt my physical appearance was indicative of my worth as a person.
The cruel joke here is that I never needed to lose weight in the first place.
Thankfully, by the time I reached my 30's I had learned about intuitive eating and creating a healthy, active and balanced lifestyle that I could live with. I took up running and strength training which was great for both my physical and mental health. I gained strength and confidence.
Then I had a baby
...and I also turned 40. All within a few months!
With my pregnancy I gained 40 pounds. I lost the first 20 pounds pretty quickly and I became hyper-focused on the fact that I still had 20 pounds left. Nursing issues made dieting off-limits. My weight loss started to slow and I began to obsess about my weight.
That had a negative effect on my overall well-being. I shied away from having my picture taken with my beautiful baby.
My son’s first birthday came and went, and those 20 pounds were still with me. I fell back into the same negative behaviors that had plagued me twenty years earlier. Scale-obsession, restrictive dieting, and negative self-talk.
I GOT stuck in a loop.
I went back to the gym but C-section recovery made exercise difficult. I ate low-carb, I tried shakes and counting calories. I lost and gained the same 10 pounds for a few months.
The harder I tried to lose the weight, the harder it was to keep it from coming back.
I was stuck in a loop of more and more restriction. My self-esteem was destroyed by the fact that I was overweight.
I focused so much on losing weight that I lost sight of being healthy and valuing who i was a whole person. I had put a priority on reaching a scale weight that was sacrificing my overall health.
Finally I hit my lowest point: I was moody, had zero energy, and constantly sick. It was a complete wake up call for me to return to the mindful health practices that had once brought me peace with food and my body.
My wake up call.
Having an obsessive, short-term vision of ‘fixing’ my body needed to stop. My weight was a health concern, but the approach I had taken to manage it was all wrong.
I developed daily habits of prioritizing my overall health through proper nutrition, self-care, and a strong mind-body connection.
This is a healthy, holistic lifestyle approach to wellness that I want to share with you.
If you'd like to learn more about the exact steps I took to overcome the weight loss obsession and regain my health, I've outlined them here in my e-book "How I Lost 40 over 40 Without Dieting: My Journey to Regain a Healthy Relationship with My Body"